Read If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late: A Divorce Lawyer's Guide to Staying Together by James J. Sexton Online

If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late: A Divorce Lawyer's Guide to Staying Together

Hard-hitting divorce lawyer James Sexton shares his insights and wisdom from the front lines of divorce to keep you out of his office and improve your relationship.If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late. James Sexton knows this. After dealing with more than a thousand clients whose marriages have dissolved over everything from an ill-advised threesome with the nanny to the uneven division of carpool duties, he also knows all of the what-not-to-dos for couples who want to build--and consistently work to preserve--a lasting, fulfilling relationship. Described by former clients as a "courtroom gunslinger" and "the sociopath you want on your side," Sexton tells the unvarnished truth about relationships, diving straight into the most common marital problems. These usually derive from dishonest--or nonexistent--communication. Even when the alleged reason for separation is one spouse's new "personal trainer," there's likely a communication problem that predates the fitness kick. Symptom and root cause get confused all the time.Sexton has spent his career working with spouses-to-be-no-longer. Reverse engineering a relationship can help to identify and fix what does not work. Ever feel like you're holding back criticism of your spouse because you just can't have that fight right now? Sexton will tell you to "Hit Send Now." Maybe you aren't as adventurous as you used to be, or need some "you time," but for some reason it seems weird or exhausting to change up the routine now. Sexton knows where that mentality leads and offers viable alternative paths to take. Though he deals constantly with the heartbreak of others, he still believes in romance and the transformative power of love. This book is his opportunity to use what he has learned to help couples that aren't so far gone get back on track....

Title : If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late: A Divorce Lawyer's Guide to Staying Together
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ISBN : 9781250130778
Format Type : Hardcover
Number of Pages : 288 pages
Url Type : Home » Download » If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late: A Divorce Lawyer's Guide to Staying Together

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If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late: A Divorce Lawyer's Guide to Staying Together Reviews

  • JTRyan

    Entertaining, how not to...

  • Janelle

    Well, this was a terrifying read. I can see why the author says he doesn't get invited to cocktail parties. (He does, however, point out that he still gets invited to weddings. So there's that.)

    James Sexton has litigated over twelve hundred divorces in his career. He's seen the liars and the dirty, dirty cheats. The acrimonious and amicable. He's represented the ones blind-sided by the divorce papers, he's represented an actual pimp in a custody hearing. He's been described as a ruthless sociopa

    ...marriage is not an end. It is a means to an end. It's about getting you to the destination; the destination is connection and companionship, comfort and trust. Getting you to the destination is an ongoing process that requires alertness, energy, and consistency.


    In discussing the marital bed, Sexton points out the obvious: marriage is an exclusive contract for sex with a specific partner. This will not go well if you aren't honest with your partner about what you need and what you're willing to do. If your/your partner's needs aren't met, then someone will have to choose between going without or going outside the marriage. The simplicity of that realization belies the difficulty of execution.

    As I worked my way through the book, I found myself really wishing that I could talk to my husband about it, that we were reading it together. Some of the traps Sexton points out are ones that are a regular feature of our marriage, and I wanted his perspective. For example, Sexton suggests that couples discuss what divorce would look like, just as they ought to discuss end of life matters. That sounds maybe more mature than I could manage, but the idea is interesting.

    I have quite a few thoughts on this book, but most of them are ones that I'd prefer to share with my spouse. For everyone else, I recommend this book, ideally as a couple read if you're one of those couples who likes to talk. (No judgment. Not all couples talk over every little thing.)

    I'm rushing this review a bit because there's a Goodreads giveaway on this book that closes March 6th. The book itself comes out on April 10.

    I was given a complimentary copy of this review via NetGalley in order to facilitate this review. This review also appears at Cannonballread.com. ...more

  • vaderbird

    I thought there would be more stories and examples to enjoy.

    Ended up skimming through most of the book.

  • Megan

    I was going back and forth between 2 stars or 3 stars. I'll give it three because it wasn't a bad book, it just wasn't what I expected. After hearing the author interviewed on NPR, I expected the book to be full of anecdotes showcasing what not to do in marriage. While there were several examples of various marriages and divorces, the majority of the book is the author's thoughts and experiences from a long career.

    Hands down, I think he has the best, most realistic views on how to have a success
    ...more